Where it All Began
It all begins with a dream, right? Or at least that’s what society tells me. Each time I start a new beginner yoga series, it never fails that a student asks how I became a yoga teacher. More importantly, how did I even become a student? The answer isn’t as complex as you might think. I had a notion that yoga was “too calming” or “too zen” for anyone like me. You see, I have anxiety, ADHD, and most days I feel like a hot mess. No, most days I am a hot mess. There’s no way I could fathom myself in a dark room under candlelight humming to the sounds of my own breath. Nope. Not happening. I would go insane.
But then, I had two babies in consecutive years. Do you know what back to back pregnancies can do to a woman’s body? Let me tell you. It wrecks you. It wrecks you physically, emotionally, mentally. I literally felt like my entire existence had been wiped from underneath me. My mind was living inside of alien that hurt. ALL. OF. THE. TIME. I desperately needed a change. So, I started moving my body as intensely as I could. Sure, I lost a couple of pounds; but, I was still sleeping on the floor. I was still crying myself to sleep at night. I still couldn’t sit comfortably. I still felt like a part of me was missing.
An old friend encouraged me to try a local yoga class. I literally laughed in her face when she mentioned it. Some how she guilted me to go, and thank goodness for that! A dark candlelit room? Sure. Calming and zen? Absolutely not! This class was everything my body, mind, and soul needed. The ambience, the music, the movement. I sat there at the end, sealing the practice with three cleansing breaths, and I remember thinking…. what. the. (bleep). was. that? Immediately hooked.
Here’s the thing… yoga is zen. Yoga is calming. Yoga is gentle. But you know what else yoga is? Yoga is intense. Yoga is hard. Yoga is energetic. Yoga is loud. Yoga can hit you right in the feels, and yoga allows you to avoid. Yoga is EVERYTHING you need it to be at any given moment. And that was only my perspective, at the time, from the mere physical practice of yoga. Just one of the 8 limbs. Because yoga is so much more!
After consistently taking 1-2 yoga classes per week for a few months, a little birdie in my brain sparked the idea of diving further into the practice. You see, I did as the millenial generation is taught to do. I graduated high school, attended college, graduated with a Bachelor’s degree and immediately started working in the field that brought me joy. I quickly became burnt out and wanted to make a bigger difference in the world. So, I went back to school and obtained a Master’s of Social Work, once again immediately finding work in the field. I started working as a Child/Adolescent Trauma Therapist and advocating for sexual assault survivors. Pregnancy struck and my whole life changed. My world was flipped upside down, and we decided it was best for me to forego work and stay home. 3 years later, with 2 young babes in tow, I started to feel like I wasn’t living for anything but diapers, wiping faces, crying children, and playground visits. Yes, I loved being a mom, but my brain cried for so much more… and ensue yoga!
I did my research and found the highest rated 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training program in my area. I was beyond ready to invest the time, money, and energy; and with the push of my husband, it was time. Much like the physical practice of yoga, I immediately became hooked. I wanted to know everything. Movement, mediation, philosophy, anatomy, pranayama, every single piece of the word YOGA I was craving to absorb. 9 months. 200 hours of lecture. 40 asana/yoga classes. 20 hours of practice teaching. 12 hours assisting in classes. 1 silent retreat weekend. 1 weekend of yoga philosophy. Quizzes. Tests. Writing assignments. Journaling.... and one single 75 minute vinyasa class taught from start to finish. I did it. I officially became a certified yoga teacher; but not only that, I became a changed woman inside and out. One chapter closed in my book while another was blissfully opened. I began to shift my focus on what this journey has brought me. Knowledge. A strong physical yoga practice. A desire to practice more than movement. A community full of acceptance. Teachers that inspire the hell out of me. Friends. Even closer friends. People that left more than an imprint on my heart. Incredible mentors whom I admire and respect. Blood. Sweat. Tears. Both tears of frustration and tears of joy. The place, the people, the program completely changed me as a yogi, as a teacher, as a wife, mother, and as a human being. It was that program, those people, that experience that created the dream to share every bit of the yoga world with anyone willing to listen.
Yes, almost 7 years ago, I laughed in the face of a friend at the mere mention of the word yoga; and now, here I am sharing every little piece of it with every human being willing to open their hearts, minds, and bodies to this life changing practice. Come join me. Maybe you’ll love it, maybe you won’t, that’s ok, too… whatever happens, I promise it’ll change you… even just a little bit.
